Sunday, November 27, 2011

Life is Joyful/ You Wish You Were as Cool as Me

(June 19, 2011)
I really enjoyed that part in your letter from a while ago about guys you'd set me up with. Haha you have impressively high standards, and I actually think that you'd be quite good at deciding who I'd get along with. I suppose that's not particularly surprising, though, considering that we've known each other for what....like five years now? Almost? Wow. Side note, I've found that it gets really crazy to start thinking about how long ago things in high school were. It seems as though they were all so recent, but really, high school is distinctly moving into past events. and it's weird.
In a deeply rough segue, boys are wonderful. One in particular, as a matter of fact, is really great....
So a bunch of us from my old ward went to see a movie together (new x-men - excellent, by the way) and Stephen just nonchalantly put his arm around me as if it were totally expected and not a big deal. We held hands through that entire movie, and I was totally, stupidly giddy about it. Prior to that point, I had been relatively certain that we were friends, and that he might have some passing attraction to me, but nothing particularly significant. Apparently, I was wrong.

I talked to a mutual friend the day after this excursion who said that he'd asked Stephen about asking me on a date, and the kid said that he was planning on it. So, naturally, the hand-holding giddiness was extended. He called me that Saturday, but I was working (yes, you are getting every last tiny excruciatingly dull detail, and you will like it, dang it), but we ended up setting up some sort of something for Friday.
It turned out that our excursion was, in fact, a date - we went to a rodeo. It was really fun. The kid had his arm around me for a lot of it. Afterwards, we went to a park and just sat out on the grass and talked about all kinds of random things for another two hours. We walked back to the car after this park excursion, and he opened my door and I got in, and then he says, "Hey, hold on a sec." I can't really articulate what exactly I thought would follow this innocuous request, but it definitely wasn't him leaning into the car and kissing me. It was really sweet and exciting and la la la la la la la la :) I was mildly stunned at the time, though. That was the most unexpected a kiss has ever been for me. A slight shame, as I had had every noble intention of making him wait until our third date, at least. Naturally, when forced to think on my toes, I failed miserably. Bahaha. The funny thing was that about twenty minutes prior, we'd been laying on the grass really close to each other and it had been quiet for a good minute or two, and he suggested that we go swing. This had made me somewhat unhappily come to the conclusion that he didn't want to kiss me and was trying to break up just such a moment. I love being wrong.
And even though I've already gone on for rather too long, I'll do some brief analysis for you. The summation of this analysis: it's quite likely that he likes me enough to attempt to take this somewhere. That somewhere being a place other than friends with benefits land, a country with which I am all too familiar. This analysis is based on a few things. The first of those is that he is, and has undoubtedly been for ages, well aware of my interest in him. Any guy would be a little nuts to risk the kind of drama that generally results from a noncommittal kiss or makeout with a girl he knows wants more. Secondly, I have talked to him about random dating enough to hear him say that generally, he doesn't kiss girls that want more from something than he does. Thirdly, if what he wanted was just making out, he went to a great deal of effort for two really brief kisses.

P.S. Stephen is annoying and was unobliging enough to have his birthday this Friday, which means I get to play a terribly exciting game called "what is the least big deal thing that remains thoughtful and advisable to do" about said birthday. Thoughts are appreciated.

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