Boys

(February 28, 2011)
There's this bizarre thing happening.....It's called boys....think I'm funny. And enjoy talking to me. It's utterly perplexing, I don't know what to do with myself. I've had to recalculate my personal characterization of me as generally insufferable if you're male and not possessed of the patience of Job, and you know, I can't say that I'm overly distressed about it. I keep meeting boys in my ward and they're all full of this, "Oo, look at Kristen's sass," and "Listen to Kristen's marvelous sarcasm," and "Kristen is deliciously snarky and I just want to keep her in my life forever!" That last one may or may not have been exaggerated/fabricated by myself. We're pretending that's what boys think. And you know, I'm fully expecting a lecture intended to shrink my charmingly tumescent head. That's one of your most impressive talents, friend. If I thought I was capable myself, I'd take care of it.

But before you bring me down off my cloud, on which I am borne with marvelously colorful delusions of my own grandeur, I wish to tell you a happy story. About a boy (I feel that it is important to note, at this particular juncture, that I do, in fact, derive a great deal of pleasure in my life from things that don't have a y-chromosome. Such as my roommates, school, singing, dancing, friends, walking to school, music, etc, etc, I just don't tell you of such things because I do so hate to bore you.) Haha, so this boy is exceptionally attractive...and he sings, and he plays the guitar, and to round out the cliche, he's in my FHE family. Darharhar, please. Get all jokes about BYU marriage and fhe families out, do it now. :) Anyhow, the first time I saw him, I was like helllllloooooo, let's be friends! (And yes, I'm aware of the overuse of italics. You can handle it, I swear.) Then later, we had this awesome bishop's ball thing that was really just a decidedly unveiled attempt to recreate the dress code and atmosphere of a high school dance. Perhaps minus the three or four couples grinding awkwardly. It was truly awesome. I wore one of my fifty little black dresses and tried way too hard to look attractive, because that's genuinely fun for me. It all paid off, however. You know in movies, where girl walks into a crowded room and boy gets this your-attractiveness-just-took-a-figurative-frying-pan-to-my-face-and-all-I-can-do-is-stare-with-my-mouth-open-in-a-sweet-but-decidedly-less-than-dignified-manner look? I could be completely delusional, it wouldn't be the first time, but I will swear to you that not five seconds after I walked in, this kid legitimately had that look on his face. DUDE. THAT FACE EXISTS IN REAL LIFE!!!
And there was triumph.